WE'LL JUST CARRY AWAY. IT WON'T MEAN ANYTHING. Of course it will.
Will I be able to bury what happened between us?
he looks at me and he really sees me...
See? It DOES mean something.
It can't.
But it does.
It's a game?
A kind of. I wanna play it.
I’ve wanted this for so long.
Me too. And now we can have it.
No, no, no. I don’t mean just that. I want this.
You know? I want to be here. I want to have everything with you. I want it all. I want us, Peyton.
Hey, what’s wrong?
This isn’t supposed to be that.
Peyton…
Why couldn't you just leave it alone?
Wait, you two were totally hot for each other.
Were. Until about halfway through ripping each other's clothes off, I bailed.
Because?
Because he got all serious! He was talking about this intense commitment, or I don't know.
I'LL BE SEEING YOU.
I'm sorry...
For what?
All sort of things.
nana14 2007-04-09 22:11:49
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DEEP GIRL IN A SHALLOW WORLD
My room - you know, it's the one place on the planet where I can actually feel safe.
I don't know, sometimes it might be easier to be a music girl and not a lyric girl, but since I'm not, let me just say this: sometimes things find you when you need them to find you. I believe that.
I'm not the kind of girl you'd think would embrace disco.
So sometimes I think - I don't know who I'd be without my angry, growly rock and my dark drawings. I don't know who I'd be if I just let all that go. Would I still be me? Or would I be a better me? Would I be Brooke?
"Do you know what it's like to know not a single thing about yourself, and it's all your fault?" I can see myself in that lyric today.
It's as simple as that - I wasn't the person I should be, and now I can't it back. I'm sitting here holding her cancer survival bracelet. I was SO SURE I was doing the right thing when I told her to get out of my life. It felt - oh God, it felt so good, so sure of myself! I was taking control, taking care of me!
Part of me is afraid I'll never find a love like that again. Another part of me is afraid that I will. I guess I wonder about it a lot. Would finding someone else be a betrayal of what we had? Would it make what we had, any less real? And more so, am I kidding myself because I think that one day he'll be back? Because every time there is a knock on the door, for a split second I think, maybe it's him, you know? Or I'll be walking on the street and I'll see some guy that kinda looks like him, my heart just stops. And for a moment, he's here. Jake.
Nathan isn't a thousand miles away - he is one locker over and she has something real to fight for, while personally, I've got... wow, I was really hoping I could think of something there.
I think that's right, you know, when you stop fighting, you stop living. We all need that thing that's worth fighting for and I don't know, maybe it's a certain someone, a special place, maybe just an idea. Find your fight, and then fight like hell until your battle is won.
I really was THAT girl you know, the girl who felt nothing. Actually, it was worse than nothing. It was a vacuum, an actual pull on my stomach, my heart, you know, I could feel where she was missing. She wasn't just hanging around, she was really gone.
"In the endless perfection of your absence."
I just keep thinking about her death over and over... the line between her living here among us and being gone... forever.
When someone is gone, they're gone forever and all you have left is memories to try and recreate that person that used to live and breathe right in front of you.
It's weird, like when you're in love, all of sudden you're hearing in these love songs all like for the first time, you know, like the singer is suddenly just talking to you alone, reading your mind... and when you're grieving it's the same thing. I'm in tune with all the sadness of the universe the universe suddenly. You know, songs find you, poems find you, people find you.
I keep thinking more about why things happen the way they do. How we're supposed to just go on when we lose someone. I know it's gonna be alright eventually. I know that this too shall pass, but right now, I just can't stop feeling that someone is gone... that was just here... and it's as simple and endlessly complicated as that.
I think that regret is the worst kind of pain, you know, guilt is bad and sadness is bad, but regret is this sickly combination of both.
It's funny the things you think about in a situation like that, you know, the things you say, and the things that you do... and I have to say, I'm just - I'm thrilled to be alive, because it all becomes kind of embarrassing when you don't die.
So... is it wrong to say I'm looking forward to a boring rest of my senior year? I mean, I would really just be very happy to do normal, run-of-the-mill high school stuff.
Hi, my name is Peyton, I’m a pathological skeptic. But I’m trying not to be.
First of all, you don't know me. And second of all, you don't know me.
I guess I'm just a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a bitch...
Or just a tormented artist...
I don't really smoke, I just figured since Nathan and I broke up I got room for a new bad habit.
Here we go; here’s an emo looking, sappy, guitar playing loser. He’s perfect for you.
You know, my life is pretty good... it is, but I was just searching for something to make it great... something to make it matter.
I lost my way, a little bit, this year. But...lately it's been better. You know, um,... it's pretty amazing how...temptation can be silenced by a ray of hope. But... when the face to that hope is a boy's face, I guess, for me, hope comes with trust issues.
This year, I wished for love. To immerse myself in someone else and to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted... and if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world.
When the destination was reached, it wasn't me who arrived... it wasn't me at all.
Six billion people in the world. Six billion souls. And sometimes...all you need is one.
Is trusting someone always gonna be impossible in my life?
My problem is with anybody who just vanishes and then waltzes back in and expects to be instantly forgiven.
It’s tough to get to know Peyton. Like me, she tends to keep the world at arms length.
You’re good with words… and pain.
Closet full of anxiety.
I didn't know my subconscious could be such a bitch. We're a bitch.
Look at you. You've had more life changing events in the first 17 years of your life than I'd wish on anyone. You got the surviving part down. I want you to focus more on the living.
And even if we do make it out of here, we're always gonna carry it with us. Its never gonna be the same.
If I say 'I love you,' right now, would you hold it against me?
God I'm such a girl.
Promise me that when you pick the boy you're really gonna be with, that he'll be someone who respects you and treats you well. That it's, it's someone who makes your heart race and that he's someone who you love because of what he is, not what he does....that's how I want you to feel one day...use your head and follow you heart.
You know that feeling you get on a Sunday? Where you just had the whole day to yourself and it’s been great, and then you remember you have to go to school the next day, and it ruins the rest of the night.
I'll still be here, and if it's meant to be, we'll be together...Someday.
Don't you dare! Don't you dare twist my words around to make yourself feel like you are not a back-stabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are and you know it.
Tree Hill is just a place somewhere in the world. Maybe it's a lot like your world, maybe it's nothing like it. But if you look closer, you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. (…)That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.
You know, the fear of letting people in, getting close to somebody and then it just not working out.
You can't help who you love Peyton.
She needs to know that she do it alone.
Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I’m just destined to be alone.
you need to be who you are.
If you let this change you, he wins.
Then maybe he wins.
Fear is like a disease, Sawyer. If you don't treat it, it'll eat you up.
You have a choice, either let him destroy you or get back up and fight.
Kinda dark, isn’t it?
I love you, Luke, but I’ve chosen the darkness.
I've been holding this in for a really long time, and you just need to know. I love you. I'm in love with you.
I took a risk. He's going to the banquet with Brooke.
At least you put yourself out there. I'm proud of you.
I'm not sure I can handle another no.
Do you have a special place for this? (Holding up Peyton's "People Always Leave" drawing)
Hi Peyton here again. Have I mentioned that if you love me you may die soon?
When all my dreams come true, the one I want next to me. It's you.
I would've given anything to hear him say me.
You were wrong. You said in the car that I was afraid to tell him I loved him but I did. I told him last night. He doesn't wanna be with me. You can smile now.
nana14 2006-12-09 16:18:29
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DON'T LET THIS END
I don't have to say a word.
This pain is just too real.
Peyton: Even if we make it out of here, we're always gonna take it with us. It's never going to be the same.
nana14 2006-10-21 21:40:57
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6 BILLION PEOPLE IN THE WORLD BUT YOUR THE ONE I LOVE THE MOST OF ALL
I would like to think our paths are straight
Disconnected from choices we make
That there is no reason why it can't be like you said
One day it's gonna happen
I dont know when
I'll be on your street
But I know one day it's gonna happen
You're gonna be swept off your feet
nana14 2006-08-27 20:39:57
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IN THE ENDLESS PERFECTION OF YOUR ABSENCE
When I was eight years old, my mom ran a red light, and somebody else's mom ran into her. I mean, she went to the hospital, but she died. My mom - I mean, not somebody else's. Then not long ago, she came back. I mean, she wasn't like a zombie or a vampire... she was a brand new mom - Ellie... hmm... pretty fucked up, right? I mean, how do you react to something like that? How'd she think I'd handle her showing up and telling me she's my long-lost mother? Did she think I'd jump for joy and invite her to a mother-daughter bake-off? Do they even have those?
Today, I came home to find Ellie in my room. I mean, what the hell is my dad thinking? My room - you know, it's the one place on the planet where I can actually feel safe. You know, I can't even tell you how angry I was when I saw Ellie holding my sketches - just like flipping through 'em like it was junk mail. Anyway, I said some things and then started crying like a girl and I stormed out and now I'm thinking, you know, why the hell did I leave?
There's a lyric from this old-school hardcore band that goes, "Do you know what it's like to know not a single thing about yourself, and it's all your fault?" I can see myself in that lyric today. I freaked out. I pushed Ellie away - this woman who decided to pick my 17th year as the one she would enter my life and so I'm not all that cool letting people in to begin with, I shut her out. Now I have no idea where she is, and I wish that she were here so that I could take back a lot of the stuff I said. It's as simple as that - I wasn't the person I should be, and now I can't it back.
Peyton: I want you to be here when the record is done.
Ellie: I will be here, Peyton.
Peyton: This is crazy!
Ellie: No, it’s just life.
Lucas: Most of our life is a series of images. They pass us by like towns on the highway. But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens. And we know that this instant is more than a fleeting image. We know that this moment, every part of it, will live on FOREVER.
We will see each other someday. I promise you.
"In the endless perfection of your absence." That's a line from a poem by Sharon Olds. I've been thinking that line non-stop since my birth mother died. Endless. Perfection. Absence. They're such whole words. I just keep - I don't know, I just keep thinking about her death over and over... the line between her living here among us and being gone... forever. I just can't get over it, you know? How can you go from something to nothing just like that? I open my fridge and there's this orange juice I bought last week and I think, 'When I got that, Ellie was alive' and now she's dead but the orange juice is still just sitting there in the fridge. It's a strange thing to focus on but it's these little things that I get stuck on most. When someone is gone, they're gone forever and all you have left is memories to try and recreate that person that used to live and breathe right in front of you.
I hear a song on the radio and I want to talk to Ellie about it, you know, or a joke and I know she would like it, you know, and the worst is when I think of something I really wanted to know about her life, but I never asked her... and why I didn't think about these things when she was alive, I don't know, but... you know, I wanna know if she ever bit her nails, I wanna know what posters she had up in her room when she was thirteen, I wanna know what she used to eat for dinner with my grandparents... and I wanna know if she was in love with my dad. And when she was here... I just wanted to be with her, I didn't think of all these questions.
Say hi to my mum, mum.
I’ll be with you someday…
nana14 2006-08-21 13:53:56
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THEY ARE NOT YOU
DISCO - yeah you heard me - polyester-wearing, Bee Gees-singin', mirror ball turnin' disco. Go ahead, just roll your eyes, snicker your little snicker, whatever - get it out of the way, I'll sit here and wait. Anyway, I'm not the kind of girl you'd think would embrace disco. So sometimes I think - I don't know who I'd be without my angry, growly rock and my dark drawings. I don't know who I'd be if I just let all that go. Would I still be me? Or would I be a better me? Would I be Brooke?
It's like a rainy day, you know, a rainy day makes most people sad, okay? You're stuck inside, it's all gloomy, no sunny walk in the park going on but, I have to say, I love a rainy day. It's just an excuse to stay inside and drink hot chocolate, hang out in my room or read a book or just have a day to be alone. I don't wanna go on a walk in the park anyway. I don't know what that says about me, just because I find comfort, silence and a little sadness. I don't - I don't think that makes me a morose person, I'm just more comfortable in that place.
My room - you know, it's the one place on the planet where I can actually feel safe. But staying at home is not the only thing I do.
I meet my friends and we have a great time together…
I do crazy things sometimes…
I do some sport...
I meet with boys...sometimes...
And even though I cry from time to time and feel sorry for myself…
I try to smile a lot!
Whenever I’m feeling particularly alone and sorry for myself, I think of how much it all could be worse…I mean, I have no right to complain, do I? With all the sadness in the world, I think I have it pretty good. Even if I don’t see it all the time like that.
I’m just
normal. Even if I don’t …
After he came and went away, just…came by, I lost the most important part of me. So I just look for my place in the world. Does it make me bad?
Peyton: You know how in dreams, you're always trying to get to some place you need to be but you never really get there?
Lucas: Yeah.
Peyton: I wish I could wake up.
DON'T FORGET TO SMILE!
nana14 2006-08-03 18:57:51
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SLOW'S GOOD. FAST'S BETTER.
It was all so simple…
You're better off without him, don't call him...
He's breaking your heart.
He's hanging with your best friend and your waiting there,
It's tearing you apart.
He lied to you a thousand times,
When I was there he kept you waiting.
And I'm still here waiting there
To catch you if you fall.
I don't know why I care so much
When I shouldn't care at all.
Finally got the nerve to tell you
How much you mean to me you said that I was your best friend,
A real sweet guy, but that's all I'd ever be.
…and then we took it for granted. Things took a turn for the worse. And now here we are. Separate planets. Staring into space.
NATHAN: What are you wasting your time at now?
PEYTON: I didn't hear you come in.
NATHAN: Oh, imagine that. You know nobody listens to this crap.
PEYTON: So, I waited for you tonight.
NATHAN: Yeah, the guys wanted to tip a few.
PEYTON: And you didn't even think to let me know?
NATHAN: That's why I came by. You want to come?
PEYTON: With the guys?
NATHAN: And me.
PEYTON: And the guys.
NATHAN: You know what, Peyton? I'm getting really tired of this. I came here to spend time with you.
PEYTON: Yeah, me and half the team.
NATHAN: You want to be a @#%$? That's cool. Just listen to your loser rock,
and I'll see you tomorrow.
PEYTON: How about you don't see me tomorrow?
Peyton: It’s not about the car. It’s about you. I finally saw you clearly for the first time last night. The way you treated me, the way you treated Tim, the way you treated your brother.
Nathan: Don’t call him that.
Peyton: And the way you’re playing that girl.
Nathan: What? Are you talking about Haley? Is that what this is about? Peyton, she means nothing.
Peyton: Okay, if that’s the case, then you’re an ass. And even if she does mean something, you’re still an ass and what’s really sad, Nathan, is that you’re too stupid to get that. So thank you for being such an amazing son of a bitch last night. You really made this a no-brainer.
Funny how one minute you can be close to someone and the next it’s like you never knew him
But, honestly, the first time my heart was touched was the day I lost your love. We were great together. It’s breaking me, because I don’t even know what made me run away. Every night when the shadows come, when the world slows down, when the day is done, the clocks don’t move and the phones don’t ring I’M ALONE AGAIN. It’s the same old thing.
Life is full of second chances. I want one more with you. What can I do to convince you in me one more time? And I know I’ve made a few mistakes but losing you is just too much for me to take.
I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING AGAIN
Peyton: You know that thing about judging a book by its cover? It’s true. You know, sometimes you gotta read the whole thing and even then you still might not know the whole story.
You can find good in everybody if you just give them a chance…the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes they surprise you. But you never really get to know them until you listen for what’s in their hearts.
Don’t ask me why, ‘couse baby, I ain’t got a clue
nana14 2006-07-18 22:40:46
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I'M SORRY, I CAN'T BE PERFCET...DOUGHTER.
Oh mother don’t you see
I’ve got to live my life
The way it’s right for me
You say it’s not right for you
But it’s right for me…
In life, you're pretty much the captain of your own ship. You can choose anything you want. Except one of the things you can't choose is who your parents are. Honestly, think about it, you know, it's complete luck of the draw when you enter the world, there is no reset button, no trial period, no 30 day return policy and we can't choose a lot of the baggage our parents hand down to us. I mean, most of them want what's best for us even if what they think is what's best is different from what we think it is, but they leave their legacy of good things and bad things.
I wanna look like you…
I wanna act and be like you…
I wanna find a guy like…Actually want only HIM.
But that’s what you want me to be…
I thought I was Brooke
Or Peyton
But in fact THIS is who I am. This is who I’m meant to be. I’m perfect in being snobbish, smart, funny, intelligent, being nerd, crammer, swot, superstrap, grub, grant, melvin, geek and squid. I’m just perfect Rory.
Whitey: Maybe you won’t get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you have ever imagined.
Rory: I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I've been a resident of Faulkner's Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann's Way. It's a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life's blood, Lorelai Gilmore.
But...honestly, I like. I love it. So happy to be Rory. I'm more like Him this way. I'm better off this way. This...
perfect way.
nana14 2006-07-08 19:09:18
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THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN FIGHTING OVER GUYS IS NOT HAVING A GUY TO FIGHT FOR...
Once upon a time there was a Princess who lived in a kingdom far, far away; and in that kingdom there also lived a boy and the Princess loved that boy and, so the two decided to marry.
I USED TO HAVE A GUY TO FIGHT FOR…
Love is everything cracked up to be. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for, doing everything for…
Now in this kingdom all was not well...
There is always someone more important, stronger and more dangerous.
Peyton: Either you say too much or, like me with Jake, you don’t say enough and then they’re gone.
Ever since you went away, you left me lonely, all my life just hasn’t been the same. Oh, baby, when I looked into your eyes the moment I let you go I just broke down.
Life goes on without you, but what the hell it’s all about?!
Waking up from this nightmare
How’s your life?
What’s it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me and how broken my heart is?
But in the end the love between the Princess and the boy was undeniable and true. And, over time that love would see them through anything. Magical things happened to them, things they couldn’t explain, much like love its self. And, like most fairy tales the Princess and the boy lived happily ever after... at least I hope they do.
AND THEN THEY LEAVE AGAIN
back to you
it always comes around
back to you
I tried to forget you
I tried to stay away
but it's too late
Peyton: Am I kidding myself because I think that one day he’ll be back? Because every time there is a knock on the door for a split second I think, maybe it’s him, you know? Or I’ll be walking on the street and I’ll see some guy that kinda looks like him, my heart just stops. And for a moment he’s here. Jake.
Life is full of second chances. I want one more with you.
Peyton: I love you Jake, I do, and you know that I love Jenny; so maybe that’s enough.
Jake: I think that only in fairy tales that’s enough Peyton.
Peyton: You know, someone told me once that there's nothing wrong with fairy tales, because everybody lives happily ever after.
Jake: Okay, listen to me, you can't just fly into Savannah and then get into my head all over again, tell me you want to stay and then ask me to marry you.
Peyton: Well, why not?
Jake: Because, I might just say yes
Peyton: So I mumble a few words in my sleep...I mean, what I said was really that bad? Did I say I wanted to kill you or something?
Jake: No... you said I love you.
Peyton: Well normally that's a good thing.
Jake: You said "I love you, Lucas."
Jake: I’ll still be here, and if it's meant to be, we'll be together.
Peyton: ...
someday.
YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT, so…
…you have fun (and good sex)…
…or you sleep with someone from Fall Out Boy and all you get is…
…or you cheat on your best friend with her boyfriend an then still have feelings for him.
Love will come though it’s just waiting for you.
nana14 2006-06-21 17:26:26
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I'VE GOT TO LIVE MY LIFE THE WAY IT"S RIGHT FOR ME
Brooke: Someone once said: it's good girls who diaries. The bad girls never have the time. Me...I just wanna live a life I'm gonna remember. Even if I don't write it down.
Councelor: It must be difficult being alone.
Brooke: I'm not alone. I hate being alone. I have my roommate and my squad, my friends, my Peyton, my Lucas...
(...)
Councelor: And what are you going to do after high school?
Brooke: After high school I have cheer practice!
CHASE DREAMS.
CHASE BOYS.
CHASE DREAMY BOY.
~I wasn't kissing him. I was whispering in his mouth.~
Brooke: What I wanted? I wanted you to fight for me! I wanted you to say that there was no-one else you could ever be with and that you'd rather be alone then without me. I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach telling the world that he's the one for me!
HOES OVER BROS>...you are what friendship is all about...BUDS OVER STUDS
IT'S NOT OK WHEN YOU NEED SOMEBODY WHO DOESN'T CARE
Brooke: You know, if Lucas, I can understand what happened. He's a guy, right? Guys screw you over but...you and I were best friends. I thought this supposed to mean something.
Lucas: So you lied to me to punish me?! How could you do that?
Brooke: How could you cheat on me with my best friend?
Lucas: Brooke, I never meant to hurt you...
Brooke: It doesn't really matter, Lucas. 'Couse in the end it all hurts the same.
everything I know about breaking hearts I've learned from you but...
Brooke: There are 82 letters in here and they're all addressed to you. I wrote them all this summer, one a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid. I was afraid of getting my heart broken again, like before coz you hurt me so bad and I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way you make me feel. I know that it doesn't matter now after what I did, but I just thought you should know. This is how I spent my summer, Luke, wanting you. I was just too scared to admit it.
Tell me, do you feel like I do when we're together? 'Couse I come alive with your touch. Nothing else is like the way you make me come alive...
Brooke: Why bad guys lie to get into your bed and good guys lie to get into your heart?
Brooke: Peyton told me some things about you and her.
Lucas: (...) That kiss meant nothing.
Brooke: What kiss? Did you kiss her again? (...) Kiss always means something.
Brooke: Don't you dare! Don't you dare twist my words to make yourself feel like you are not a back-stabbing two faced bitch, Peyton, because you are and you know it!
Brooke: And once you lose yourself you have two choices. Find the person you've been or lose that person completely.
...GO BROOKE YOURSELF...
And I will have to start all over...alone. I'm sure I will be fine.
EVERY DAY IS THE OTHER CHANCE TO TURN IT ALL AROUND.
nana14 2006-06-13 16:54:56
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GIVE YOURSELF TO TO THE MUSIC
There are lyric people and music people. You know, the lyric people tend to be "analytical," you know, all about the meaning of the song. They're the ones you see with the CD insert out like five minutes after buying it, pouring over the lyrics... interpreting the hell out of everything. Then there's the music people, like Brooke, who could care less what the lyrics, just as long as it's got like, a good beat and you could dance to it. I don't know, sometimes it might be easier to be a music girl and not a lyric girl, but since I'm not, let me just say this: sometimes things find you when you need them to find you. I believe that. And for me, it's usually song lyrics.
My friend Brooke's always telling me that my music makes her depressed. That it's sad, a downer. Her exact words at this beach party we recently had were, "Please play something that doesn't make me wanna shoot up and die." Of course I was playing, "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus at the time, so she kind of had a point but, the thing is, I don't - I don't think of my music as depressing - it's the opposite really, you know? It comforts me, tells me that it's okay to feel sad or scared or alone. And that I'm not alone in how I feel, and that's a part of being alive.
It's weird, like when you're in love, all of sudden you're hearing in these love songs all like for the first time, you know, like the singer is suddenly just talking to you alone, reading your mind... and when you're grieving it's the same thing. I'm in tune with all the sadness of the universe the universe suddenly. You know, songs find you, poems find you, people find you.
There's nothing I love more than hearing a great song for the first time. When you realise immediately that this song is a song you're going to listen to a thousand times...It's never better than the first time you hear it.
So I'm in the record store and I'm digging through the import bands and my friend Mark who work there - who's like 30, but looks... 25, acts eighteen - Cute... um, knows I love Matthew Ryan you know, and says, "Hey have you heard his new band?" And I say, "Hell no, give it up!" So he puts on For Blue Skies... and for six minutes, the world just falls away.
Rory: You know what I think we need? A song? Like a song that's
our song. Something romantic but not musky, something that will make us remember this...OK. Perfect. So, from now on, no matter what you're doing, where you are, you'll stop and think of me when you hear this...
I went to a Masquerade Party this week and as a result, here's what I got on the brain: disco. Yeah you heard me - polyester-wearing, Bee Gees-singin', mirror ball turnin' disco. Go ahead, just roll your eyes, snicker your little snicker, whatever - get it out of the way, I'll sit here and wait. Let's talk about disco. Okay, not cool, right? Musically artificial? Here's the thing folks: Disco wasn't designed to be cool. It was designed to just be liberating.
I hear a song on the radio and I want to talk to Ellie about it, you know, or a joke and I know she would like it, you know, and the worst is when I think of something I really wanted to know about her life, but I never asked her... and why I didn't think about these things when she was alive, I don't know, but... you know, I wanna know if she ever bit her nails, I wanna know what posters she had up in her room when she was thirteen...
I'm listening to this song by Nada Surf called, "Always Love" and there's this lyric, um... "To make a mountain of your life is just a choice." Well if that's true, then lately I've been making mine into Mount Everest. There's - I don't know... a lot of stuff happening and I've been letting it get to me, so... that's what brings me here.
You wouldn't think of him as a sad person, just kind of... searching. But once, we were, you know, in my car and this song "Joey" by Concrete Blonde came on and it's this really sad, sad song but Lucas and I sang it at the top of our lungs like it was the happiest thing you've ever heard, you know, and I thought that was pretty a cool, that a boy could just sing like that and not worry about looking cool or whatever... just gave himself over to the music.
THIS IS MY MUSIC AND THIS IS MY ART! GET OUT OF MY LIFE, ALL OF YOU!
nana14 2006-06-10 21:20:24
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LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO BE ANYTHING BUT HAPPY
At this moment there are 6,502,867,120 people in the world. Give or take a few.
And sometimes all you need is One.
For better or worse.
You can find the good in everybody if you just give them a chance...the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you. Sometimes they surprise you. But you never really get to know them until you listen for what's in their hearts.
..and in the end there is only a darkness. Sometimes we find others in that darkness...
.
..and sometimes we lose them there again.
When someone is gone, they're gone forever, and all you have left is memories to create a person that used to leve and breathe right in front of you.
REGRET IS THE WORST KIND OF PAIN.
GUILT IS BAD AND
SADNESS IS BAD BUT
REGRET IS THIS SICKLY COMBINATION OF BOTH.
nana14 2006-06-01 15:41:26
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